Simple Truth from a 2 year old

I've been struggling with Apathy... complacency... whatever ugly word you want to use.  I became aware of it at our girls bible study when we were asked to write on a notecard what our leper spots were.  In other words, what are the ugly things about you that you don't really want other people to see?  Since then i've been very aware and honestly trying to change that spot into something pretty, but i just can't seem to get there.  Key word... I am trying.  On my own.  Praying to God, but not allowing His spirit to pray for me.  Yesterday my sister, Emily was telling me about how Adelle is beginning to grasp the whole Jesus thing.  She said they took out the nativity set and Adelle fell in love with baby Jesus immediately.  Like wouldn't let Him out of her sight.  Would lightly kiss Him, and hold him gently.  At that point, God starts speaking to me.  "Are you in love with Jesus the way this simple child is?"  "Do you long to be with him and kiss his face?"  "Do you hold him close and let his sweetness fill every corner of your soul?"  Then Adelle grasps the fact that Jesus is the light of the world, and tells her Daddy when he comes home.  Already ready and willing to spread the gospel and she doesn't even fully understand.  What a punch in the ole gut.  Truth is... He IS the light of the world.  And I have that light living inside of me.  And yet, I dim it.  I let the shadows of this world disguise the light.  God did not intend for me to live in darkness or in the shadows of sin.  His sacrifice was not so that I could receive that light and then let it flicker for the rest of my earthly life.  He did not enter this world as a baby, grow up and be tempted by every kind of evil, suffer a horrible death, have the sins of the world and God's wrath layed upon Him so I could just sit here in stagnation. 
“You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father."  Matthew 5:14-16
My challenge to myself this Christmas, is to remember the light that Christ provides.  To remember that those who are seeking (the shepherds) to worship my King, can see a light in me and follow that light to Christ. 

Anxiety, Hope, Fear, Peace, Worry, Assurance, Reslessness

Anxiety.  Fear.  Worry.  Restlessness.  Self absorption.  

These are 5 words that I often feel.  At different times in my life they are all there for different reasons.  Right now, they tend to creep in when I begin thinking about becoming a mother.  Being responsible for a little life, and not even just physically... but spiritually I will have the greatest influence on her life.  How do I raise a little girl in the filthy sin hole that we live in today?  How will I be able to teach her purity and inner beauty when she's attacked at every angle with sexual temptations and self image?  Will I be able to juggle being a mother while still being the wife God calls me to be?  How will Stephen adjust?  Will he pull away?  And when I finally am at peace, the serpent reminds me that I, one day, will also be a mother to a child not born of my womb and all the fears and anxieties that go along with that. Will he be emotionally broken?  Will I be able to reach through his brokenness and love his hurt and loneliness away?  How will I handle all the questions he will ask?  Do I have the emotional strength?  The answers to all of these questions are either No.  Or, I can't.  Oh, but wait, there is:

Hope.  Faith.  Peace.  Assurance.  Selflessness.  

5 words that Christ so fills my soul with when I simply just ask Him to.  He, in His loving and so gentle way, places verses like Psalm 32:8 (The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.) in my quiet times.  And He sends people along my way to remind me of His perfection.  I run into someone who reminds me that my adoptive child is not broken.  He is perfect and God has a plan for His life.  And then He shows me how to learn from my own mother on how to raise up a daughter the way He desires.  He reminds me that I, alone, cannot be successful.  But (isn't it great that there's always a but with Christ), with Him I can.  He reminds me to daily surrender my fears and anxieties and to daily surrender my Children to Him and He will take care of the rest.  He reminds me to keep my focus on heavenly things, things not of this world.  Not to focus on what this world is coming to or how to raise a child in this filth, but to remember that this is not our home and what truly matters is what will be for eternity.  So my friends, I cling to Romans 5:5 today.  And everyday is a journey... everyday is again, another day of surrender and another day in which God pours His grace and mercy over my life. 

And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

Adoption--heavy on my heart

As most of you know, Stephen and I have been praying about adoption from Guatemala for about a year now.  It has been truly humbling to see how God has changed my prayers throughout the year.  I know we are suppose to adopt at some point.  Adoption in Guatemala is currently closed due to some very terrible things happening to the children and families.  It has also been so humbling to see how every time I start to doubt, or give up praying for these babies, God reaffirms His call for Stephen and I.  Of course, I then can never understand why I doubted in the first place.  He is faithful.  Stephen is patient.  Very patient.  I am not... so I keep telling God, "i'm not getting any younger here..."  "What's the deal God?  I thought you wanted us to do this!"  In His ever so gentle way, he nudges me and says "my timing is perfect.  Submit to my will everyday.  My plan is perfect in every way."  I pray for our child everyday... whether he/she is born yet or not,  I pray for his/her mother.  I pray that God will give her peace and comfort in allowing someone else to raise her baby boy or girl.  These women... alot of them... are literally unable to care for children.  It's not a matter of abuse in a lot of cases, it's a matter of incapability.  I pray for her salvation.  I pray that if our child is in an orphanage, that God will wrap His arms around him/her and comfort him/her in their loneliness and fill the void that comes with not having a mother or father to nurture and love them everyday.  I pray for his/her safety.  I pray for the orphanages, that as the rate of orphans grow, that these institutes will grow.  That they will be able to have staff and funding to take care of these children.  This is heavy on my heart right now.  I'm not sure why, but God is calling me to pray continuously for this country, this issue, these babies.  Please join me.  Please pray for the children, the families, the families that have been waiting since 2007 to go get their child, the orphanages, government.  Pray that God will give Stephen and I wisdom and guidance.  Peace.  Pray that if and when adoption opens up that he will make it clear to us how many to adopt.  (Most organizations prefer to keep siblings together).  Most of all, pray that all of this will bring glory to His holy name.  That souls will be saved, and that He will be sought for wisdom by everyone involved. 

If you're ever interested in news about adoption, this site usually has up to date information. 

www.guatadopt.com

 

 

May Have Monday

Linking up with Down and Dirty for May Have Monday

This weekend, Stephen and I participated in the Louisiana Dragon Boat Races.  I may or may not have been really scary comptetitive. And extremely serious during the actual race time.  And I may or may not have had alot of pride in my team when we won two times in a row. 

I may or may not have thought stephen looked really sexy in his team shirt. 

I may or may not have had the most fun in one weekend that i've had in a long time.  I so needed it.  God is good.  all the time. 

Seriously.

My Sunday night/Monday morning:

10 pm:  Goodnight Stephen.
12 am:  startled awake by dog barking... lay there... lay there...
12:08 am:  Get up to go see what the heck she is so worked up about.  Turn on the outside lights... nothing
12:10 am:  open the door and scold Palin, the dog. 
12:12-12:25 am:  toss and turn
1 am:  Dog begins barking again
1:15am:  Get up and turn the lights on
1:25 am:  lay in bed scared, thinking there might be someone trying to break in
1:30 am: Stephen begins to snore
2 am:  Dog starts barking again
2:30 am:  Get up to spank Palin the dog
2:32 am:  "Stephennn... there's a big ole coon eating Palin's food!"
2:35 am:  Stephen puts on khakis and boots and pumps up his beebee gun
2:40 am:  No sign of the coon
2:42 am:  Stephen scares Palin and she goes psycho and poops and pees all over the back porch, while yelping loudly and most likely waking up the entire neighborhood
3:00 am:  we lay back down and stephen has no problem falling back asleep.
3:00-3:30am:  Palin barks off and on and scratches at the door
5:00 am:  I rise to start my day. 

Seriously

Old or New?

Down & Dirty's Mayhave Monday:

I have this old shirt. I got it during my first year of college. It's your typical "COLLEGE" t-shirt. You wear it to the games, or on the weekends, or around campus. Believe me when I say it is the most comfortable T-shirt I have ever had. I kid you not. I, in fact, wore it so often that it now has holes and fray-ings all over it. For some strange reason, I cannot bring myself to throw it away. I was cleaning out my drawers the other day, filling up the good will bag and came across the shirt. I stared at it, thinking to myself "I wish I could still wear this." I didn't throw it away. I folded it back up and placed the holey, faded t-shirt back in its spot. Today I am asking myself what is so significant about that old t-shirt? Why am I hanging on to it? Here it is:

I want to pass the holey t-shirt down to my kids one day. They will probably want it. I'm totally kidding. Although I did use this excuse in my head to try and justify not throwing it away!

Here it really is:

Old T-shirt has been through a lot. I have put her through a lot. I wore her during the darkest time of my life. She experienced drinking binges, hangovers, and sleepless nights. And then experienced regret, disappointment, disobedience, and forgiveness. Poor thing, you'd probably be a little frayed on the edges too. Maybe I keep the shirt as a reminder. Maybe I, somewhere in my subconscious, have a desire to put the old shirt on again. The old self. It's so tempting, with her bright color and soft self. But, and yes, there is a but, when I go dig in that drawer, and pull out old t-shirt, I always see how battered and bruised she became. I see how battered and bruised I became. How spiritually "tossed" around I was. How I was becoming more "holey" not "holy". So I will keep old t-shirt in her spot. She will remind me when I am tempted to slip her on again, "I aint so pretty, and I aint so comfy, what with the holes and all... I might let in a draft. You won't be protected anymore if you slip me back on. " But she will also serve as a reminder of grace, forgiveness, redemption. A reminder that when you’re in your darkest hour, all holey and not holy, God reaches out His hand, dusts you off, patches you up, and offers a gift so sweet, it’s indescribable. A new self. Clothed in Righteousness.

We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. Romans 6:6

throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Ephesians 4:22

Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Colossians 3:9

Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living. Because of the weakness of your human nature, I am using the illustration of slavery to help you understand all this. Previously, you let yourselves be slaves to impurity and lawlessness, which led ever deeper into sin. Now you must give yourselves to be slaves to righteous living so that you will become holy. Romans 6:18-19

I am overwhelmed with joy in the LORD my God! For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped me in a robe of righteousness. I am like a bridegroom in his wedding suit or a bride with her jewels. Isaiah 61:10

"Every saved person this side of Heaven OWES the Gospel to every lost person this side of Hell."

Mayhave Monday

Down and Dirty's Mayhave Monday fun. 
I may or may not currently jam to the most ecclectic mix of music.  You can call me strange, I don't care.  Stephen isn't a fan always of my playlists, so I usually listen to them at work or while cooking.  Please enjoy.  You MAY or MAY NOT find at least one song that you really love!
These are in no particular order...
1.  Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson (what is it about J.A. that gets me hooked on his music?? Maybe bc he's just down home country... and who doesnt love Kelly??)

2.  Amos Lee... The KING of chill out, wind down, and maybe even wine down Music! Loving his new album!

3. Brendan James... if you don't know him, you should.  That is all. 

4.  Kalai... a newby to the M. Townsend Playlist, but a keeper!

5.  Bob Marley... no, i'm not a hippie.  This song just gets me in Beach mood!

6.  Say Hey, (I Love you)-- the only song by this artist that I have, but if this song doesnt get your feet moving, there's something wrong with you.

7.  Eric Hutchinson... Even Stephen loves this one!  I caught him humming it the other day. 

8.  Zac Brown Band has had my heart since 2006.  And they've teamed up with good Ole Alan on this one!!

9.  Marc Broussard... I discovered this song on my pandora station.  We all love Marc.  I mean he is from Louisiana.

10. Kings of Leon.. not a fan of all their music, but there are a few songs that i enjoy.  This being one of them.

11. Citizen Cope... For those of you who like a little rap every now and then... a little rolling the windows down bobbing your head kind of music... here it bees.

12. The City Harmonic... Great praise and worship song!

13.  JJ Heller... also a newby, but a keeper!!  This song gives me a lump in my throat every time!

14.  Christian Stanfill... this song snagged me at a time when I was living in fear.  I love how the Holy Spirit grabs hold of you so creatively.

15.  Last, but not least... a little Billy Joel to end your listening experience :D

So long dixie queens!!

Comfortable.

In July of 2010, I committed to read through the entire bible in a year.  I am a little over halfway and I have to admit that I'm getting weary.  I'm just reading words.  Reading because I said I would.  Not soaking it in, letting it seep into every corner of my thirsty soul.  Yesterday while reading words, I mustered up a "God, why am I doing this??"  I closed the bible gladly (no disrespect intended here).  And began to pray.  I then realized that I haven't really been praying.  Just saying some words every now and then.  Shooting those words somewhere in the corners of the room.  I sat on the couch at first, wrapped in a blanket, head leaning on the pillow, comfortable.  It's like that word was being shouted at me.  Then came a string of similar words... Complacent, stagnate, cozy, sedentary.  YUK!  That's not where or who I want to be, nor is it where God wants me to be.  He wants me to grow, to seek Him Daily.  I was overwhelmed with how selfish I have been and how I have been treating Christianity as only a label lately... going with the flow... doing the "Christian" thing.  Puke.  So fake.  Where did I go from there?  My knees of course!! Asking for forgiveness, accepting grace, and my prayer abruptly stopped, when I heard the car door slam... my very last words of that prayer were "Show me how to be the follower, daughter, sister, friend, and wife that you have created me to be."  Maybe the distraction was to keep my focus on that very prayer?  This morning I was again reminded of my DAILY need to ask for guidance and grace thanks to my sweet Sister, whom God uses regularly to teach me things about Himself.  So now... I have to re-focus.   Focus on asking God to show me truth in his scripture and how to apply it to my life today.  He will.  He always does.  I just havent bothered asking him lately. 

And to finish off the morning, I had a double dose of this song by Shawn McDonald: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QE1OrBNleo

Truths Collide

Fun Friend Friday (I wrote a guest post for my sister today)

Confessions

I need to get some things off my chest.  These are my confessions (singing Usher in my head)

1.  I have road rage.  Sometimes it's really bad. 

2.  I was very ugly to a sales lady on the phone last week, so when she called back this week, I gave her all the information she asked for which took approximently 30 minutes and me asking after ever question "Do what? Could you repeat that?"

3.  I love bloody mary's.

4.  I don't like Stephen's newest hobby.  Not one bit.  Mostly because it takes his attention off of me (is that selfish of me or what?!)

5.  I secretly wish I could move to Guatemala and be a photojournalist.  I guess it's not a secret anymore.

6.  I really, REALLY, REALLY want to adopt. 

7.  I am appreciating Stephen Townsend more and more everyday.

8.  I love, LOVE how God never let's me get too far from Him.

9.  I really like to hear chinese accents.

10.  I love that I am from the South, brought up in a family with such diverse members who are always making me laugh and love harder.

What are your confessions?

Down & Dirty's Mayhave Monday- [white lies]

I am scary protective of my family and the people I love.  Don't talk about them. Don't say anything negative, unless I say it's ok.  I can be negative... but you can't.  My husband, poor thing, learned this early on in our relationship.  He picks on me about it still. I think it runs in our family.  One time I was telling my sister that I was afraid of people thinking I was a loser for quitting college, and she started crying and told me no they wouldnt, because she would beat them up.  Like I said, scary protective. 

So as for Mayhave Monday.... I may or may not have told a little white lie about a family member's success level.  Do you have someone in your family that hasnt quite gotten it figured out yet?  They are still searching for something... for happiness?  In the meantime, they are sort of just butchering their way through life?  I do.  And I feel like everytime someone asks me about this person, I say the same thing.  For privacy purposes, i'll say this person's name is Pat.  How's Pat?  Oh, he's just Pat.  Or, my personal fave... "Is Pat still working for ___?"  No, that was 4 jobs ago.  So this weekend... I may or may not have said that Pat was great and that Pat has been working at his job for a while now.  I wanted to say something positive about Pat, and I wanted to protect Pat from any negative or judgemental thoughts or perceptions.  Because everyone needs to be protected every now and then. We've all been there, butchering our way through life... searching.  Did someone believe in you?  Did someone protect you?  They sure as heck did for me (refer to the above crazy line from my sister). And I truly believe in Pat.  And I want other people to believe in Pat too. So sue me. 

Say something about Pat and i'll kill you. 

Seriously.

My Thing

In college, I had a friend who had a thing for Trees.  She seemed sort of mesmorized by them.  She thought they were beautiful.  She took pictures of them.  Well, my thing is the sky.  I have a thing for the sky.  Strange? Perhaps.  I get totally swept up in it.  I could probably stare at it for hours.  I love all types.  Cloudy, clear, blue and crisp, sunsets, sunrises.  I love driving over tall bridges because I feel like i'm about to fly off into it.  The picture above, was the other day on my way to work.  I happened to have my fancy camera with me.  The picture does it no justice.  None.  I was swept away at the beauty.  Maybe it's that the sky is untouched by humans.  It's still pure.  Painted perfectly by the Master's hands.  And we get to enjoy it's purity.  We get to breathe in it's beauty and be amazed and humbled at the creativity of the Author of Life. 

Recently, Stephen killed a 10 pt. deer.  Apparently, it's kind of a big deal.  He wants it mounted.  I told him I would be glad for him to hang it in the washroom.  Anyway, I went to the Taxidermist with him, and as he was talking about a bunch of stuff i didn't care about, he said something that grabbed my attention.  He said, I think of my job as art, a skill that I have been given.  I know you are thinking "he mounds dead dear heads on a peice of wood", but bear with me.  He went on about the detail he has to put into making these Deer heads look real.  Then he said this:  "You know, We can try to make these deer look so real and perfect, and we can even succeed in showing some of their beauty, but no one, no human, can make them look as beautiful as thier creator."  Because what He created is perfect.  He is the Master Artist.  The MOST creative that ever was or will be.  He IS. And He gives.  To us. 

Mister Townsend

 

This is Stephen aka Mister Townsend aka Mista T aka my husband.  He is a hunk of a man! 

He thinks it's odd that I like to frame pictures of him and put them around the house (only in places that are mine, example: my bathroom, my bedside, my desk).  Lately I have been a little overwhelmed with how blessed I am to have Mister Townsend in my life, as my husband.  As a little girl, you dream about your husband.  What will he look like?  What will his interests be?  What will he do for a living?  Where will he be from?  I was attracted to him immediately.  He was tall (to me), dark, and oh so handsome.  He was funny.  And on top of it all, he was interested in what my dad did for a living.  After I got to know him (he lived across the street from one of my best friends), we were looking out the window one day watching them play football and I said to Katie:  One day I am going to marry him.  No lie.  I really did say that.  And I really did marry him.  Anyway-- back to why I feel so blessed.  First of all-- He is the spiritual leader of our family and he takes that role very seriously.  He loves God more than he loves me.  He prays with me, reads the Word to me, and has conversations about Godly things.  Recently we got the opportunity to go on our first overseas mission trip together and it catapulted us into a whole new level in our marriage. 

Secondly-- He takes care of me.  I am very dependent on him, and probably should be a little less.  He is very much concerned with my health, how I feel on a daily basis, my feelings, taking care of things a man should take care of, etc.  Recently I broke my foot, so I am hobbling around in a boot and on crutches.  Instead of being insensitive to that, he has been the best nurse EVER!  He fixes my plate, brings me coffee, washes all the dishes, drops me off at the door, and even carries my purse for me!  Now that, my friends, is a real man.  :) 

And last, but not least-- We get each other.  My mom and sister pick on us saying that we are the same person in different bodies.  I know that opposites usually attract, but not so much here.  We laugh at the same jokes, have alot of the same interests, have the same sense of humor.  We are both morning people, which works out quite nicely.  He's my very best friend.  The other night, he was in rare form.  Growing up, I had a mother who acted very silly 80% of the time.  So naturally, I am the same way.  Stephen is too!  HOORAY!  I laughed my head off, until I was crying at him, and I love that we can do that for each other.  

Mister T has flaws just like we all do, but he's my Mr. T, and not perfect, but perfect for me.  Forgive me for the sappiness today.. He's out of town and i'm missing him.

Just Me and My Cupcake

"It's just me and my cupcake" is what I would imagine he's thinking to himself.  What do I love about this picture?  First of all... the fact that there is icing on EVERY single finger.  Secondly... how it looks like he's taking his sweet time, soaking in every delicious moment.  Probably my most favorite part about this photo is the fact that Wee man has his eyes closed.  Saying to his audience "I don't even care who's looking... this is my moment with Cupcake."  Today friends... enjoy your food.  I'm not saying be a greety pig, but I might would like to have this look on my face whenever I eat my supper tonight.   Be thankful for the deliciousness you are putting in your mouth.  It's a gift.  Meant to be enjoyed. 

Beautiful Wrinkles

Because I am not the "blogging" type... and so not a good writer, I have decided to start blogging in pictures.  It's what I know.  It's how I see.  My sister, Emily is the most eloquent writer that I know.  I think she sees something and thinks about it in words.  In beautiful descriptive words.  I on the other hand, see something and I capture the picture in my mind.  I see it's colors, I see it's lighting, it's boundaries.  I see it's beauty and in my mind, I push the little black button on my camera and capture it... hold it tight, and treasure it in my heart.  So instead of desperately trying to think of words to say... I am going to start blogging pictures and i'll write a brief description of the pictures.  K? Good... i'm glad you are satisfied too. 

Last week I did some work for my a nursing home company for marketing material.  I thought his man was so beautiful.  He was content, happy, and all smiles.  As I was trying to capture the nurse helping him, I couldn't help but snap away every time he looked my way.  How can you look at this picture and not want to know his story?  Who he was... who he is.  There is something about a weathered face that is breath taking and leaves you searching those wrinkles for a history.  Ladies and Gentlemen, embrace your wrinkles.  They ARE beautiful!

So there it is folks... that's the photo for the day.  Hope you enjoyed looking into this man's dancing eyes as much as I did.