In July of 2010, I committed to read through the entire bible in a year. I am a little over halfway and I have to admit that I'm getting weary. I'm just reading words. Reading because I said I would. Not soaking it in, letting it seep into every corner of my thirsty soul. Yesterday while reading words, I mustered up a "God, why am I doing this??" I closed the bible gladly (no disrespect intended here). And began to pray. I then realized that I haven't really been praying. Just saying some words every now and then. Shooting those words somewhere in the corners of the room. I sat on the couch at first, wrapped in a blanket, head leaning on the pillow, comfortable. It's like that word was being shouted at me. Then came a string of similar words... Complacent, stagnate, cozy, sedentary. YUK! That's not where or who I want to be, nor is it where God wants me to be. He wants me to grow, to seek Him Daily. I was overwhelmed with how selfish I have been and how I have been treating Christianity as only a label lately... going with the flow... doing the "Christian" thing. Puke. So fake. Where did I go from there? My knees of course!! Asking for forgiveness, accepting grace, and my prayer abruptly stopped, when I heard the car door slam... my very last words of that prayer were "Show me how to be the follower, daughter, sister, friend, and wife that you have created me to be." Maybe the distraction was to keep my focus on that very prayer? This morning I was again reminded of my DAILY need to ask for guidance and grace thanks to my sweet Sister, whom God uses regularly to teach me things about Himself. So now... I have to re-focus. Focus on asking God to show me truth in his scripture and how to apply it to my life today. He will. He always does. I just havent bothered asking him lately.
And to finish off the morning, I had a double dose of this song by Shawn McDonald:
The old comfortable complacency! A reminder that I need a Savior every day! Great post!
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