Seriously.

My Sunday night/Monday morning:

10 pm:  Goodnight Stephen.
12 am:  startled awake by dog barking... lay there... lay there...
12:08 am:  Get up to go see what the heck she is so worked up about.  Turn on the outside lights... nothing
12:10 am:  open the door and scold Palin, the dog. 
12:12-12:25 am:  toss and turn
1 am:  Dog begins barking again
1:15am:  Get up and turn the lights on
1:25 am:  lay in bed scared, thinking there might be someone trying to break in
1:30 am: Stephen begins to snore
2 am:  Dog starts barking again
2:30 am:  Get up to spank Palin the dog
2:32 am:  "Stephennn... there's a big ole coon eating Palin's food!"
2:35 am:  Stephen puts on khakis and boots and pumps up his beebee gun
2:40 am:  No sign of the coon
2:42 am:  Stephen scares Palin and she goes psycho and poops and pees all over the back porch, while yelping loudly and most likely waking up the entire neighborhood
3:00 am:  we lay back down and stephen has no problem falling back asleep.
3:00-3:30am:  Palin barks off and on and scratches at the door
5:00 am:  I rise to start my day. 

Seriously