7 Months Old

I realize that it has been quite a while since i've posted anything.  Like... 6 months.  But my sister has inspired me to share some things about Emily Ellen especially since I do have lots of family that live in other places besides here!  So here it goes!

Emily Ellen/The Boosk/Boo Boo Bear is growing and learning like crazy!  It amazes me and makes me sad all at the same time.  Stephen and I feel as though we have been thrown a curve ball.  We are both layed back people who just kind of go with the flow.  Very compliant for the most part.  Emily Ellen... not so much.  She's not ok with sitting still.  She really wants to have it her way or else there is back arching and slinging of the arms and head.  It's really quite comical to watch sometimes.  My personal favorite is when i'm trying to change her diaper and she flips her body over.  I've gotten to where I have to hold her down with my legs.  All the while, she's screaming like we just beat her.  Homegirl does not like to be forced to do anything. 

We are having so much fun with her though.  She gives us the sweetest smiles and is learning to give kisses, which are actually soggy open mouth smashes on the face.  I can't help it though... I absolutely love it when she does it! She started crawling about a month ago and is already pulling up on furniture.  This week she has started holding on with one hand and looking at us like 'Do you see what i'm doing?!' 

Some of Emily Ellen's favorite things:

• Mornings... by far, her most favorite time of day.
• Bananas
• Carrots and Sweet Potatoes
• Climbing and conquering (Daddy's chest in particular)
• Bath time
• The remote or a calculator
• Her ball
• Her knit blanket
• Palin and Brees (They can keep her entertained for whole minutes)
• Outside
• Jogging with Mama
• Whisper Screaming (it's so funny... i'm hoping to get a video of it soon)

Emily Ellen would like for all to know that she is not a fan of any green food.  Particularly green beans. 

These days the boosk really really likes for Mama to be in view... favorably in arms reach.  This has been very tiring on this Mama, but like MY mama reminded me... 'You're going to miss this' so I am trying not to be so overwhelmed with 'stuff' and focus on soaking up some playtime with her.  She follows me everywhere and if i'm sitting on the floor with her... you better believe i'm going to be mauled by little tiny hands knees and feet... and sometimes 2 tiny teeth. 

Mama's favorite things:

• Rocking her to sleep... it is the only time she lets me snuggle with her.  I love to feel her little warm breath. 
• Watching her discover new things
• Peeking in on her in the mornings when she first wakes up and is having some discussions with her duck and rabbit.
• That smile that can brighten any dull day
• The fact that she squeals when daddy gets home from work

Next post will probably be when she's 1.  ;)

Emily Ellen, 1 month

1 month

You are beginning to focus on us more

You are gaining weight like crazy and your newborn onsies are beginning to get a little snug!

I can now tell when you are mad, startled, or in pain by your different cries.

You are slowly getting in a routine. 

Your hair continues to grow!!

You get cuter and sweeter every day!

This Easter is Different

This Easter is quite different.  Now, being a mother, I have a completely different view/appreciation for the cross and the sacrifice that was made.  And I think of John 3:16... for God so loved the world... why?  Why do you love us so much that you'd send your only Son to bear the disgusting sins of the world and ultimately suffer through your wrath so that we can spend eternity with you?  It's a love and a grace that I cannot comprehend.  As a mother, you know your child and you cannot even describe the kind of love you have for them.  You can feel their heartbeat as they lay on your chest... often in sync with your own.  I can only imagine how deeply God loved Jesus, and how their hearts were constantly in sync.  You would walk through fire, or suffer a thousand deaths just to keep your child safe.  You want to protect your child from the sins and filth of this world, certainly not catepolt her into it full force.  All this makes me feel overwhelmed, grateful, and in awe of the sacrifice God made by placing His Son on the cross, watching Him suffer through pain and through His own wrath, knowing He did nothing to deserve such abuse.  Having to forsake His own Son.  But His purpose, His plan was greater than wrath and death.  Sin, death, and Satan thought they'd won.  There was probably a celebration on Saturday.  "We are the champions", they shouted! But 3 days later... 'He is not here.  He is risen!'  The angel said.  The plan, the will of God was greater, IS greater.  Death had finally lost its sting.  The Way was made.  The Road was paved, and the Advocate was sent.  Love obliterated death!  What a Victory!!

Photo by Akaine, child prodigy.

Simple Truth from a 2 year old

I've been struggling with Apathy... complacency... whatever ugly word you want to use.  I became aware of it at our girls bible study when we were asked to write on a notecard what our leper spots were.  In other words, what are the ugly things about you that you don't really want other people to see?  Since then i've been very aware and honestly trying to change that spot into something pretty, but i just can't seem to get there.  Key word... I am trying.  On my own.  Praying to God, but not allowing His spirit to pray for me.  Yesterday my sister, Emily was telling me about how Adelle is beginning to grasp the whole Jesus thing.  She said they took out the nativity set and Adelle fell in love with baby Jesus immediately.  Like wouldn't let Him out of her sight.  Would lightly kiss Him, and hold him gently.  At that point, God starts speaking to me.  "Are you in love with Jesus the way this simple child is?"  "Do you long to be with him and kiss his face?"  "Do you hold him close and let his sweetness fill every corner of your soul?"  Then Adelle grasps the fact that Jesus is the light of the world, and tells her Daddy when he comes home.  Already ready and willing to spread the gospel and she doesn't even fully understand.  What a punch in the ole gut.  Truth is... He IS the light of the world.  And I have that light living inside of me.  And yet, I dim it.  I let the shadows of this world disguise the light.  God did not intend for me to live in darkness or in the shadows of sin.  His sacrifice was not so that I could receive that light and then let it flicker for the rest of my earthly life.  He did not enter this world as a baby, grow up and be tempted by every kind of evil, suffer a horrible death, have the sins of the world and God's wrath layed upon Him so I could just sit here in stagnation. 
“You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father."  Matthew 5:14-16
My challenge to myself this Christmas, is to remember the light that Christ provides.  To remember that those who are seeking (the shepherds) to worship my King, can see a light in me and follow that light to Christ. 

Anxiety, Hope, Fear, Peace, Worry, Assurance, Reslessness

Anxiety.  Fear.  Worry.  Restlessness.  Self absorption.  

These are 5 words that I often feel.  At different times in my life they are all there for different reasons.  Right now, they tend to creep in when I begin thinking about becoming a mother.  Being responsible for a little life, and not even just physically... but spiritually I will have the greatest influence on her life.  How do I raise a little girl in the filthy sin hole that we live in today?  How will I be able to teach her purity and inner beauty when she's attacked at every angle with sexual temptations and self image?  Will I be able to juggle being a mother while still being the wife God calls me to be?  How will Stephen adjust?  Will he pull away?  And when I finally am at peace, the serpent reminds me that I, one day, will also be a mother to a child not born of my womb and all the fears and anxieties that go along with that. Will he be emotionally broken?  Will I be able to reach through his brokenness and love his hurt and loneliness away?  How will I handle all the questions he will ask?  Do I have the emotional strength?  The answers to all of these questions are either No.  Or, I can't.  Oh, but wait, there is:

Hope.  Faith.  Peace.  Assurance.  Selflessness.  

5 words that Christ so fills my soul with when I simply just ask Him to.  He, in His loving and so gentle way, places verses like Psalm 32:8 (The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.) in my quiet times.  And He sends people along my way to remind me of His perfection.  I run into someone who reminds me that my adoptive child is not broken.  He is perfect and God has a plan for His life.  And then He shows me how to learn from my own mother on how to raise up a daughter the way He desires.  He reminds me that I, alone, cannot be successful.  But (isn't it great that there's always a but with Christ), with Him I can.  He reminds me to daily surrender my fears and anxieties and to daily surrender my Children to Him and He will take care of the rest.  He reminds me to keep my focus on heavenly things, things not of this world.  Not to focus on what this world is coming to or how to raise a child in this filth, but to remember that this is not our home and what truly matters is what will be for eternity.  So my friends, I cling to Romans 5:5 today.  And everyday is a journey... everyday is again, another day of surrender and another day in which God pours His grace and mercy over my life. 

And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

Adoption--heavy on my heart

As most of you know, Stephen and I have been praying about adoption from Guatemala for about a year now.  It has been truly humbling to see how God has changed my prayers throughout the year.  I know we are suppose to adopt at some point.  Adoption in Guatemala is currently closed due to some very terrible things happening to the children and families.  It has also been so humbling to see how every time I start to doubt, or give up praying for these babies, God reaffirms His call for Stephen and I.  Of course, I then can never understand why I doubted in the first place.  He is faithful.  Stephen is patient.  Very patient.  I am not... so I keep telling God, "i'm not getting any younger here..."  "What's the deal God?  I thought you wanted us to do this!"  In His ever so gentle way, he nudges me and says "my timing is perfect.  Submit to my will everyday.  My plan is perfect in every way."  I pray for our child everyday... whether he/she is born yet or not,  I pray for his/her mother.  I pray that God will give her peace and comfort in allowing someone else to raise her baby boy or girl.  These women... alot of them... are literally unable to care for children.  It's not a matter of abuse in a lot of cases, it's a matter of incapability.  I pray for her salvation.  I pray that if our child is in an orphanage, that God will wrap His arms around him/her and comfort him/her in their loneliness and fill the void that comes with not having a mother or father to nurture and love them everyday.  I pray for his/her safety.  I pray for the orphanages, that as the rate of orphans grow, that these institutes will grow.  That they will be able to have staff and funding to take care of these children.  This is heavy on my heart right now.  I'm not sure why, but God is calling me to pray continuously for this country, this issue, these babies.  Please join me.  Please pray for the children, the families, the families that have been waiting since 2007 to go get their child, the orphanages, government.  Pray that God will give Stephen and I wisdom and guidance.  Peace.  Pray that if and when adoption opens up that he will make it clear to us how many to adopt.  (Most organizations prefer to keep siblings together).  Most of all, pray that all of this will bring glory to His holy name.  That souls will be saved, and that He will be sought for wisdom by everyone involved. 

If you're ever interested in news about adoption, this site usually has up to date information. 

www.guatadopt.com

 

 

May Have Monday

Linking up with Down and Dirty for May Have Monday

This weekend, Stephen and I participated in the Louisiana Dragon Boat Races.  I may or may not have been really scary comptetitive. And extremely serious during the actual race time.  And I may or may not have had alot of pride in my team when we won two times in a row. 

I may or may not have thought stephen looked really sexy in his team shirt. 

I may or may not have had the most fun in one weekend that i've had in a long time.  I so needed it.  God is good.  all the time.